Have you ever considered the most important relationship in your life is the one that you have with yourself? What if falling in love with yourself could transform more than your relationship with yourself, but also your relationship with everyone around you?
I’m Savannah Alalia and welcome to the latest episode of High Functioning Human Podcast where you get to connect with yourself as a high-functioning human.
I’ve spoken about Self-Acceptance before and this is like Self-Acceptance turned up to 100 today. I want to speak about falling in love with yourself.
I was out for a walk the other day with two absolutely fabulous ladies who give off complete boss bitch energy, and walking past a restaurant, one of them asked if I’d ever gone to dinner by myself, both of them saying that they never had. One said she would be bored and the other said that she would find the whole situation awkward and embarrassing and I found this such an interesting discussion. These ladies have so much sass and confidence, but the social taboo of being at dinner by yourself was something that they felt uncomfortable about.
The reason I found this so interesting is because although I love going to dinner with friends, I love going to dinner alone. To be honest, I just love dinner.
But dinner alone is something that comes from the logistics of traveling a lot, and this has turned into a cherished ritual that nourishes my soul. The act of choosing food I love or drinks I love, I’m always in the plural, chatting with wait staff and making connections, people watching, listening to the music there, reading a book, or simply enjoying my own company. All of those things are something that I absolutely love.
Obviously dinner is just one thing, but it’s so nice to think of taking yourself for a date, planning time with yourself to do something that you absolutely love. Falling in love with yourself is a journey, a beautiful, transformative journey. It’s about embracing who you are, celebrating your own company, and finding joy in the moments spent alone.
When you learn to enjoy being alone, you begin to get into a better dialogue with the voices in your head. Embracing this conscious process of self love also makes it a lot easier to have better boundaries with those around you and how others treat you.
The more value you give your time, the more you hold those you interact with to a higher level, accepting only the treatment that you deserve. And when it comes to friendships, family, romantic relationships, or especially professional relationships, people will often use the way you treat yourself as the gauge for how to treat you.
If you have a weak boundary or notice certain relationships bringing you down, addressing them is a key step to honouring your needs. Learning to say no when necessary is an act of self love.
I’ve spoken a lot about this in the past, so I’ll link a few episodes on Boundaries below if you want to explore this further.
There are many ways to fall in love with yourself, including falling in love with your physical body. If you’re someone who notices that you avoid spending time alone, ask yourself, how do you feel about your body? If the answer is anything less than I love it, taking time to appreciate your body is the next step.
You can start by appreciating your body for all it does for you. Your body is your home and the vessel that carries you through this life. Pay attention to what your body needs. Resting when you’re tired. Nourishing you when you need wholesome foods. Moving in ways that help you to feel good for you.
Obviously I’m obsessed and I’m always going to be mentioning ways to incorporate practices like fascia release to ease tension and promote well being. I love to bring this to the world through my Your Face Symmetry programs as they are a wonderful way to connect with your body and deepen that conversation. The intimate side of your physical body is an important topic too, and it’s something I go into more detail in my program All About The Queendom.
I often speak about journaling, so I’m going to say it again in a slightly different way. Keep a gratitude journal, but make it about you. Each day, write down three things that you appreciate about yourself. These could be qualities that you admire, it could be achievements that you’re proud of or challenges that you’ve overcome. But keep it simple and most importantly, keep it consistent. Each time you write these words, it’s like a little piece of love being sent from you to you.
And so to conclude, falling in love with yourself is also about being free to express yourself. Which happens best when you know yourself.
There is a fabulous poem by Jenny Joseph called Warning where she says, “when I’m an old woman I shall wear purple.” And although I love the idea of being able to express yourself visually who you are on the inside, on your outside, I often hear someone say that they’re waiting to be a different version of themselves when a circumstance changes or time has passed. Falling in love with yourself means wearing purple today rather than some permissible date in the future. As Jenny says at the end of her poem, “maybe I ought to practice a little now.” Falling in love with yourself is one of the best gifts out there. And as the Queen of Drag RuPaul says, “if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else?”
So before I go, I challenge you to plan a date with yourself this week. Do something that brings you joy. And wear some purple.
Trust your instincts and follow your intuition because the world needs your voice and the magic it brings to us all.
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I look forward to chatting with you next time on the High Functioning Human Podcast. Take care and talk soon.
As always, I remain a cheerleader for your inner self-worth,
