As new relationships form, or older relationships change with time, it’s important to regularly check-in to make sure you have healthy boundaries. This Relationship Check-Up can help you to stand strong knowing your boundaries are serving you.

In my last blog ‘3 WORDS FOR BETTER BOUNDARIES!’ you learnt how to develop your boundaries using 3 words. 

It’s important to remember that when you’re creating relationship boundaries, you’re essentially defining the relationship. Of course, relationships are ever-evolving creatures, and healthy ones require regular TLC. It’s tricky to backtrack once you’ve let a relationship spill into the personal or romantic realm, so it’s important to really consider how you would like the relationship to be moving forward. 

By defining your boundaries, you create the tone for the relationship and its interactions, professional, platonic, casual, or romantic;

Today you are going to learn how to:

  • move into actionable steps for honouring or honing your boundaries in relationships. 
  • Communicate what behaviours and actions are acceptable;
  • Convey your willingness to engage with the individual and clarify the expectations for both parties;
  • Figure out the best communication methods for that particular relationship; and
  • Get clear on topics of conversation that work for you, from strictly work-related discussions in professional settings to more personal and intimate conversations in romantic relationships.

Here we are, we’ve arrived! Time for your relationship check-up! A quick evaluation can help you see if your boundaries are on point. 

As the acclaimed author Paulo Coelho said – “When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”

A good way to perform a relationship check-up is to consider the following:

     1. Do you give yourself permission to prioritise your needs?
Reflect on whether you truly allow yourself to place your own needs first. Instead of being selfish, this is about your self-care. And listening to your intuition.
Do you feel a sense of guilt when taking time for yourself or when expressing your needs to others? 

Catering to your own emotional, physical, and mental needs is a crucial aspect of maintaining balanced relationships.

     2. Are you clear on what your needs are?
This is a call for self-awareness. Have you taken the time to understand what you truly need from your relationships and life? Your personal needs might include emotional support, space for personal growth, or specific boundaries. 

This clarity will guide you in articulating your needs to others and in understanding what you are looking for in any relationship.

     3. Do you feel like you’re flourishing and have mutual appreciation?

It’s important to gauge whether your relationship is a source of positivity and growth. 

Do you feel appreciated for who you are, and do you express appreciation for the other person? 

Does the relationship bring joy and inspire you to become the best version of yourself? Feeling valued and appreciated is a sign of a healthy, nourishing relationship.

If any of these questions prompt a negative response, it’s time to seek clarity. This might involve a conversation to clear the air or creating some space in the relationship to see what it might need.

Additionally, if you have unclear boundaries or are constantly letting people take from you, you may find your fascia in your body becomes stuck leading to chronic pain, poor sleep, feeling exhausted or worse. As you address the boundaries in your relationships, to help you let go of the patterns it is important to check in with your body – is there any physical healing that needs to happen? Is there anything that needs to be let go of to support these new habits and patterns in your life? Send me a message if you’d like to learn more about how to release and heal your fascia.

Performing this relationship check-up with yourself regularly, especially when you form new relationships, or existing relationships evolve, will help you to define your boundaries and keep your connections in good shape!

Remember, creating boundaries is a positive act. With healthier boundaries, you’ll find yourself stronger, and more open to love and connection with relationships that nourish you.

As always, I remain a cheerleader for your inner self-worth,

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