Do you find yourself turning to food or alcohol, or other habits that numb your stress and pain, but wish you had a different approach? Have you ever wondered why some of your old coping mechanisms seem to be failing you now? So let’s explore why your coping strategies might be out of date and how you can transform them into healthier and stronger habits.
I’m Savannah Alalia, and welcome to the latest episode of High Functioning Human podcast, where you learn to connect with yourself as a high functioning human.
Today, I want to speak about Coping Mechanisms, a topic that’s quite complex because each of us is made up of our own unique habits. And some habits are conscious choices, like brushing your teeth or closing your curtains at night, while others are reactions.
So, you learn from what is around you as to how you might best respond and what habits keep you safe. And in the face of stress or trauma, you develop ways to help manage painful or difficult emotions. And as a child, if you have a negative event occur, such as one of your parents getting angry, or something unsafe near or around you, or being bullied at school, or just being told that you’re no good, you can develop ways to protect yourself. And those initial responses often become coping mechanisms that can last a lifetime, far beyond the initial trigger. And if gone unchecked, then it’s something that can spiral out of hand.
They might have been helpful and kept your brain from getting stressed, but over time, they’re no longer there to serve you, and they’re not serving the same purpose that they did at the beginning. In fact, they have probably become a restriction.
For example, taking certain habits to excess can turn something from helpful into a harmful habit, and overly turning to food for comfort, or developing addictive patterns with drugs or alcohol, or engaging in behaviours that numb sensation or pain are coping mechanisms that you might need to re-evaluate. Instead of feeling resentful or ashamed of these coping mechanisms, it’s important to recognise that they have served you. They got you to this point. And if you’re keen to shift your habits, start by framing your understanding with gratitude for finding something that has worked for you.
You found something that calmed and relieved pain or stress and allowed you to move forward. Being kind to yourself is the best practice to start. Recognise that you’ve done the best job you could at the time. If you’re listening to this, I applaud you for everything that has brought you to this point. The challenges, the pleasures, and all of the in betweens, realising you have a choice. And if the habits no longer serve you, you can learn from them and let them go.
That power to affect change is in your hands. Keep kindness in mind as you start to address these habits. Instead of viewing them with shame, I want to remind you to think of them as tools that once helped. Remember coping mechanisms do just that. They help you to cope. Cope with situations that might otherwise have been unbearable, to cope with things that felt like too much.
But coping, in essence, is the bare minimum in terms of how to live. How would it look and how would it feel in your life if you were doing more than just coping? And where would you even start? So whether it’s unhealthy relationships, reliances on substances, or any other coping mechanisms, identifying the underlying causes and meeting yourself where you are is crucial.
When I speak about fascia release, I often mention Thought Knots. These are the places in your body where repeating thoughts and emotions have become knotted over time, causing harm and getting stuck in your fascia. And these knots need to be processed and dealt with, which is why I emphasise the fascia and feelings work so much.
Fascia release and emotional processing must happen simultaneously to prevent becoming stuck again. And when you’re looking for your Thought Knots in your body, what you’re looking for is the lines of tension. So pay attention to your face, as those lines can be easier to spot than you might initially realise. And when you find out what that line of stuckness is in you, it’s much easier to start to work and release it.
I can really recommend checking out my program Your Face Symmetry to help you with making these connections. Addressing coping mechanisms without considering where you’re stuck in your fascia often leads to repeating old habits. Fascia release can help you to experience success in many areas of your life that you may have thought were unconnected. Until you make those connections, you may find it quite difficult to change your habits in the long term.
Honour yourself for the choices that you have made up until this point with the things that were harder and appreciate where you are now. This journey is ongoing and you should really be proud of yourself for taking the steps towards becoming a High Functioning Human. I want to encourage you to keep stepping.
Remember, trust your instincts and follow your intuition, because the world needs your voice and the magic that it brings to us all. Jump on my mailing list to stay reminded and connected to your intuition, plus some special things I will only write to you in email.
I look forward to chatting with you next time on High Functioning Human podcast. Take care and talk soon.
As always, I remain a cheerleader for your inner self-worth,
