Have you ever believed something about yourself for so long that it felt like a fact? A thought, a belief, a phrase that has played on repeat in your mind, shaping how you see yourself, your body and the world around you. This is what I call a Thought Knot. But what if I told you that that thought knot, in fact, began as somebody else’s?
Hi, I’m Savannah Alalia, and welcome to the latest episode of High Functioning Human Podcast, where you get to connect yourself as a high-functioning human.
The words you think, the beliefs you hold, and even the physical patterns in your body are often adopted from those around you. Identifying where those knots come from and beginning to understand them is the key to releasing them.
If you’re unfamiliar with the term Thought Knot, go back and check out some of the earlier episodes where I explain them in more detail, I’ll put a link below. But for now, picture a knot, a tangle that has built up over time.
Where did that knot begin? Well, you are of course shaped by your elders and the environment that you grew up in. And if you were a particularly empathic or feeling child, this can involve a lot of shouldering of your parents’ burdens and worries, which can get quite heavy. Literally. When a child mirrors their parents, people often comment in a really light-hearted way, “Oh, she’s like a little mini me,” but let’s think about what’s actually being said there. How much of the parent’s energy and emotions and beliefs is this child really taking on? The words and behaviours that you hear and embody at a young age, at any age, can have serious long-term effects showing up later down the line in your body.
I saw this firsthand with a family that I worked with many years ago. I’d been treating the parents regularly and had noticed the patterns that they carried, the words that they spoke, the tensions that they held and where that was, and the way in which their body stored old hurts. These Thought Knots showed up in their posture, in their movement, in their fascia.
The interesting thing here is that they had a daughter who, when I first worked with her – she was, I think, around three – and her body was free, open, no thought knots, no lines of tension. And of course, she was young. But by the time she was five, still young, I noticed a shift. Her language had started to change, she had begun mirroring the words and worries of her parents, and by six, I could see the same patterns or lines of tension beginning to appear in her body.
Some of the knots you carry may have been forming your entire life. So that’s why I say these things take time to unwind. This is why gentleness and patience are essential as you begin this conversation with yourself. Because sometimes you carry stories about yourself for decades without ever questioning if they’re even true or yours in the first place.
I recently saw a clip of the fabulous actor Kathy Bates that perfectly illustrates how deep these Thought Knots can go. She said that her mother had always called her ungrateful, and when she won an Oscar, she believed she’d proven her mother right because in her mind she’d forgotten to thank her in her speech – which was something that the mother had mentioned time and time again all through her life.
Now, here’s something interesting. The interviewer played the footage of her acceptance speech. If only she’d gone back and looked at it again, because there it was – she had thanked her mother. But that belief that she held about how ungrateful she was, was so ingrained and solid that instead of that, she’d carried this false narrative for years. So much so that when she was shown the truth, her tears of relief were instant. You could see it in her body, that moment of stepping out of an old story that she’d lived inside of for decades.
I want you to ask yourself, how many assumptions are you making about certain things being true or false in your life? How many stories are shaping the way you see yourself, your body, your abilities? Just as the mind holds patterns, so does the body.
Maybe you believe that pain and stiffness are just part of aging, when in reality they may be signs of stuck fascia. Maybe you’ve been in pain for so long that you assume you will always be in pain, but this is just another Thought Knot, and one that can actually be untangled.
I’ve recently done some episodes on pain, so I’ll link them below for you.
*Understanding Pain*, *Should You Kill Your Pain?*
What if you recognise these Thought Knots in yourself, especially the ones you may have been holding onto for your whole life? What can you do to support yourself in letting them go? First, acknowledge that even listening to this conversation is a step forward, because recognising the knot is the first part of untying it.
Then it’s about taking action, of course, moving from awareness into release. More than anything, that part is about consistency and showing up for yourself, being willing to allow your body to let go physically and emotionally. Starting simple is the best way, in my opinion. Alongside working with your body and your fascia, one of the simplest ways to start addressing the thoughts themselves is by bringing awareness to the words and thoughts that cycle through your mind. The next time you catch yourself saying or thinking something negative about yourself or your body, pause. Ask yourself, “Where did this belief come from? Is it even mine?” You can take this further by writing it down.
If you know me, then you know I love journalling. Writing something down takes more courage than simply thinking it, and that courage can be a very powerful catalyst. This act of putting words on paper creates clarity, and clarity is the next step towards release. Seeing these thoughts in front of you also gives you a bit more space so you can stop identifying those words as something personal.
It can also reveal patterns that have been running beneath the surface for perhaps years, and once you recognise those patterns, you can start to shift them. Regular fascia release allows the body to let go of stored tension, unprocessed emotions and those old holding patterns.
This is a heavy topic, so be kind to yourself for listening to this podcast in full. It really takes decisive action to step out of the known and to consider the possibility of a different reality for yourself. And if you feel ready to start addressing and untying your Thought Knots, then my program Your Face Symmetry 1 is the perfect place to begin. It’s a seven-day program introducing you to fascia release and allows you to lay the foundations for deeper work that you can do in Your Face Symmetry 2 and 3, further guiding you through the layers of your body’s history so you can move forward with so much more ease and freedom.
In my opinion, by combining fascia release with awareness, you give yourself the tools to release on multiple levels – mentally, emotionally and physically. You’ll find all the details for the programs below.
Your body is ready for this. The question is, are you?
Remember, trust your body. Stay curious about sensation because the world needs your voice and the magic that it brings to us all.
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I look forward to chatting with you next time on High Functioning Human Podcast. Take care and talk soon.
As always, I remain a cheerleader for your inner self-worth,
