[QUICK QUERY] THE BIGGEST LIE YOU ARE TELLING YOURSELF

Welcome to today’s Quick Query.

 

I work with so many people – good, honest, hardworking people – who want to be sparkling* all the time. They want to do good for themselves and for others, but something is holding them back.

 

What they have yet to realise is the thing holding them back – it’s a lie.

 

This single, seemingly innocent lie can hold you back and leave you feeling burnt out, empty, frustrated, and even desperate.

 

It’s exactly how Denise felt, and I’ll bet you can relate to her story. Here’s a little snippet in her own words:

 

I am a mother of two, a friend to everyone, and I work a full-time job. I used to think that it was just that I had a full life, and I used that as my excuse, that one day, things would calm down. But as the years go by, I realise something is not right. I am ALWAYS dealing with things from others or for others. I just can’t seem to say no. Whatever I do, I never seem to be able to gain control of my life. Why is that?

Step 1 – REFRAME YOUR BRAIN.

If you would like to take the reins in your life …

Your biggest threat to getting a hold of your life is …

You giving to others before giving to yourself …

Giving is like breathing – to breathe out, you first have to breathe in. Try it …

I’d like to remind you the ONLY thing you truly do have ANY control over is yourself.

STEP 2 – ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WORTH MAKING TIME FOR.

Transitioning cheeky monkeys begins with this one sentence – and it’s a Picture Pin. Say it with me:

A nurtured me

is a happy me,

is a giving me.

Basically, a nurtured self is a happier self, and is someone that can be generous with how they give!

STEP 3 – IDENTIFY THE STEPS FOR MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.

Take a moment to figure out a few things that nourish/nurture you, body, mind and soul.

Then carve out the time in your day, in your week, in your year to do those things.

Take a moment now to figure out what those things are – just 3 things for each.

Go:

3 things for your body

3 things for your mind

3 things for your soul

It could be:

3 things for your body –  a shower or bath, basic daily exercise, eating good food, getting enough sleep.

3 things for your mind – reading every day, discussing topics that interest you with like-minded others, meditating.

3 things for your soul – meditating, journaling, being in nature.

STEP 4 – MAKE IT HAPPEN – SCHEDULE IT WITH YOURSELF.

Now, get your calendar out or grab the reminder section on your mobile, and book it in. Think about the time you need for each thing. Ignore those cheeky monkeys!

I started by getting up an hour earlier so I could fit these things into my day. Many women I know get up an hour earlier than the rest of the family and use that time for themselves. As a result, they are ready to start the day when everything kicks off.

In closing, Denise, remember the word ‘No’ when dealing with others. If someone asks you to do something for them but you feel unsure, try starting with a polite but firm ‘No’. Later, if you feel it’s something that you would like to do, come back to them once you have checked your diary and book it in – rather than just agreeing straightaway and thinking, ‘Oh, I’ll just fit it in.’

Your relationship to yourself and self-nurture is a vital part of taking control of your life. If you avoid it, you can be easily pulled in ANY and ALL directions, and out come the cheeky monkeys again.

You have a choice: offer the world the best of you by having a self-nurturing foundation. Remember, that is the example you will be giving your children, too.

That is my answer to your Quick Query, Denise – I hope it helps.

Now, it’s over to our sparkling* community. I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever felt like you were being attacked by cheeky mind-monkeys? What did you do to herd them up and clear them up? How did this help you get a handle on your life?

Share with us in the comments below.

With love,

Savannah

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