[PODCAST TRANSCRIPT]
Hello everyone, I’m Savannah Alalia, and welcome to the latest episode of High Functioning Human podcast, where you connect to yourself as a high-functioning human. Today we’re going to explore a deeply personal, yet universally experienced emotion, grief. Now, grief is a complex emotion. It’s often difficult to discuss, and it’s even harder to experience. In our western society Grief almost has a taboo around it. It’s as if it was something shameful, even contagious and I think it’s one of the biggest sadnesses in the individualistic culture.
The idea that you should be shamed for feeling grief. This concept of emotional contagion is something I’ve spoken about in previous episodes, “Emotional Infiltration”. And whilst it’s something to be aware of, I actually see empathy around grief as a gift, as long as you’re capable of managing your boundaries. Now, when I’m speaking of grief, it can arise from various different situations. Yes, of course, there’s the obvious one of loss of a loved one, but also from missed opportunities or changes in your life circumstances, or even unmet expectations from yourself or others. Often we think of grief as purely emotional, but it has a profound physical manifestation as well. Your body remembers and holds on to grief, sometimes long before your mind has begun to process it. Traumas are rarely ever only physical or only emotional, and that can include loss.
And in terms of extreme emotion, those emotions produce a chemical response in the physical, literally changing what your fascia is doing. So you might find yourself feeling inexplicably tired, or experiencing changes in your appetite, or even feeling a sense of physical heaviness. And these are all ways in which your body tries to cope with the emotional turmoil of grief.
We speak of heartbreak as a conceptual idea, but when you’re feeling deep sorrow, it can truly hurt inside your chest and in other places. And this is your body responding to those intense levels of emotion and that’s something to be aware of. I call this crossover between the physical pain and the emotional stress, a Thought Knot. And there are places where your fascia becomes stuck, holding on to those emotions in that place.
I like the knot analogy because it really is something that needs work to undo. And this work can become harder the longer the knot is left unchecked. So with unprocessed grief, identifying triggers is an essential step in understanding and processing the emotion. Often you might find yourself reacting intensely to situations or comments that seem relatively minor on the surface. And this reaction is like a signal flare from your subconscious, indicating that those thought knots are areas of unprocessed grief.
So I’m going to invite you to consider this. Consider external events that can act as mirrors reflecting that internal emotional state. Perhaps they produce a reaction that has you feeling intense, like a red rag to a bull, like a rage that might come up.
But rather than simply avoiding or ignoring the triggers, think of them as your body guiding you towards the deeper seated emotional wounds that perhaps you’re carrying. And by recognising and understanding these triggers, you can begin to approach your grief with kindness and see it as part of you that needs attention and care.
For many people, this in body grief can be something that they’ve been holding onto for many years, perhaps as early as childhood. And there is so much weight around grieving for what might have been, perhaps support, care and understanding that might have been lacking when you needed it the most. While you grieve the love that could have been, you also grieve the life that that child inside lost. And this is something that can hit you years later with both emotional and physical repercussions. So you might find, as the emotions reach the surface, this type of grief leads into a freeze response, where, just like your fight, flight or freeze instincts, you become immobilized by your emotions. Processing grief can often require more than just time.
It demands active engagement with our emotional and physical selves. One effective method is through fascial release, your body stores traumatic memories, and grief is one of those that can get stuck in the fascial tissues. So by working through those physical blocks, you can begin to release these emotional burdens tied to them as well.
It may be that as they come up, you’ll need to journal so that you can get that emotion out of you or move your body. Moving your body is invaluable. I invite you to think about what grief might be stored in your body, what physical sensations accompany your emotional pain. Have you noticed any particular triggers that seem to exacerbate these feelings? Or that your grief maybe has gone beyond pain and started to go into a place of numbness? For those looking for guided support, my Your Face Symmetry program is specifically designed to help you identify and connect with and release those emotional tensions held in your body. So if you’re experiencing grief, this can be a valuable resource for your healing journey.
Remember to allow yourself to feel and process grief. It is a profound act of kindness towards yourself, and it’s an essential step, in my opinion, to becoming a High Functioning Human being, fully connected to both your body and your emotions.
Remember, trust your instinct and follow your intuition. Because the world needs your voice and the magic that it brings to us all.
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I look forward to chatting with you next time on the High Functioning Human podcast. Take care and talk soon.
As always, I remain a cheerleader for your inner self-worth,
